tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
