I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Someone signed my nipple.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
