My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize