i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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