It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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