MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
