kristin has been a bad kristin
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
