Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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