who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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