hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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