do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
