If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
