Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
