Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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