No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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