We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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