this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
