I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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