I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
