Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
