Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize