Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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