Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
