5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You ruined the universe
Randomize
