Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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