I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
