kristin has been a bad kristin
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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