We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
where are my eyebrows?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
