I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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