Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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