Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
