i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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