forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
