They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
