the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
