Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
