How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
