I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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