ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
