I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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