We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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