he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
