Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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