You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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