I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
