i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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