if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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