If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
