I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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