My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
