The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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