you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
