I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
