It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
