u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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