It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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