If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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