He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
