pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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